Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Who ever is in charge of proxies is a moron

Now some may say this is an unfair conclusion, yet after Project: MOLERAT I am utterly convinced of this.What is Project: MOLERAT you ask? Well well well, I am more than happy to oblige your idle curiosity.

Due to the ever increasing size of the network and the sudden and jarring increase of the response time of slender forces, I came to the logical conclusion that someone within the network must be a mole, therefore I initiated Project: MOLERAT, a multiple phase plan. Here's the basic outline for the interested.

PHASE 1: DIG,  identify the individual or individuals who could be the possible mole using a combination of motive, seniority among network (or lack of it), police and federal grade "bugs", and other unsavory and gross intrusions of personal privacy.

PHASE 2: SET THE TRAP, Locate a few out of the way locations that no one would find without help, "leak" these locations as a nonexistent still nonfunctional "node" in the network, one each for every possible mole,  then make the proper preparations for when the slender forces attempt to retaliate against nonexistent node.

PHASE 3: BAIT THE TRAP, Make some sort of indication that the fictional node in now functional, such as a blog post.

PHASE 4: KILL THE MOLE & EVENT HORIZON. And now we arrive at by far my favorite phase, when labor bears fruit. Once contact with one of the fake nodes is made terminate the now uncovered mole, as for the location itself EVENT HORIZON comes into place. At the location only a shell of a building lies, no interior, nothing on the inside. Directly in the line of sight of the entrance is a modified paintball turret, outfitted with an Uzi. Upon opening the door turret will spot them and will shoot whoever is at the nose. Rig said turret so that once it runs out of ammunition or is destroyed that a minute cache of explosives under the door is detonated, injuring those at the door way. At the same time using the same rig trigger a timer set to a minute and thirty seconds; attached to a larger cache of shrapnel based explosives fifteen feet away, so that any help or medics come to help the injured slender forces are killed or grievously injured. Once the group is in full panic then remotely detonate the large cluster of explosives placed in a concentric circle pattern around the fake node, starting with the outermost, going inward, insuring no proxy may escape. People on standby are then sent in to terminate any survivors, unless of course they are able to be applied to Project: FARADAY CAGE.    

And that my readers is how you take care of a mole and a large group of elite slender forces. The best part, the only survivor was an indoctrinated, perfect candidate for the initial testing of Project: FARADAY CAGE. 
Hopefully testing goes without a hitch, then we will be able to go full scale.

Dr. Mengele out

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